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On Monday mornings, full of fire,
She slowly stirs the tea she sips.
And though the day burns through with ire,
There's orange on her lips.

On Tuesdays during weekday rain,
She hears a rainstorm as it speaks,
And though the thunder speaks of pain,
There's jasmine on her cheeks.

On Wednesdays as a drought pulls by,
In shade, she sleeps, in perfect sin,
And though the world's too parched to cry,
There's maple on her chin.

On Thursdays, while earth's frosted white,
The flame beyond her eyes persists,
And though the snow obstructs all sight,
There's nectar on her wrists.

On Friday evenings, dark as coal,
The star-lit curtain's hers to wear,
And though no starlight marks the pole,
There's citrus in her hair.

Her weekday scents give constant call
And ask I taste them all the while,
But Saturday, holds, best of all,
Her pepperminted smile.
©2005-2009 ~Error732
:iconerror732:

Author's Comments

8,8,8,6 iambics...woo! This took a while, but I enjoyed myself.

Thanks to ~catch-a-falling-star. While I didn't steal her phrase word-for-word, the final line would not have happened without her.

Comments


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:iconmalefictarium:
I love it, the sensual phrases at the end are especially spectacular. It just gripped me and painted just a vivid picture in my mind. Wonderful work. definately a :+fav:

--
the little vampire bit me on my toe... bastard... :shakefist:
:iconkrakenface:
Beautiful work, as always, Error.

--
My clubs:

*Altered-Anatomy-Club -- Deformation and distortion!!

~Mermafied -- Awesome non-traditional merfolk!!

~snapefanclub -- Fans of Severus Snape!!
:iconcatch-a-falling-star:
hmm. Well this is beautiful Mej. The entire concept of this makes me think of well.. "Mother Nature" all i can think is that your speaking of a mythical creature, some woman who is beautiful beyond all, someone who has captured the best of nature and man made things.

This is really good. Liked the last line, then again, i loved every line at the end of each stanza.

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[Animal Bar]
:iconerror732:
Thanks, er, Becca. Peppermint is a lovely smell.
:iconerror732:
You have my gratitude for your input as always, Krakenface....er, Mr. Krakenface.....Sir.
:iconerror732:
Thanks. I think I wrote this because lately I've been feeling that smell and aroma are largely ignored in description. It's odd to me that a person can look beautiful or sound eloquent, but can only smell or feel 'good.'
:iconcupidinisira:
WOO-HOO!
THAT's a STRUCTURE.
And well executed, at that, with passion and beauty and care and shit but...
YAY fof STRUCTURE!!
:iconcupidinisira:
WOO-HOO!
THAT's a STRUCTURE.
And well executed, at that, with passion and beauty and care and shit but...
YAY for STRUCTURE!!
:iconkrakenface:
No sir am I. Female!! Hmm... does it say that on my profile? I can't remember if it says that on my profile. But... yeah. Female.

--
My clubs:

*Altered-Anatomy-Club -- Deformation and distortion!!

~Mermafied -- Awesome non-traditional merfolk!!

~snapefanclub -- Fans of Severus Snape!!
:iconcatch-a-falling-star:
Your right, it is pretty good smelling. unless its like that overpowering breath mint peppermint lol and ur welcome

--
[Animal Bar]

Details

August 12, 2005
1.1 KB

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