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Said the Moth to the Butterfly by ~Error732:iconError732:



You say I'm a simple sort of insect.
Well, I suppose that that's all right.
I have simple wings and simple dreams,
And I only dream of flight.

You have those mosaics scribed on paper,
Razor-thin but as fragile as the air.
You dreamt you were an artist and
Inspired to put them there.

You say I'm a stupid kind of bug.
A lamp could distract me for hours.
Well, I'm awed by mundane miracles,
And I dream of mundane powers.

You have your migrations,
Streams of color flocking in the sky.
You dreamt you were a rainbow crossing
Through a dreamer's eye.

You say I'm just a moth,
Aspiring to nothing great.
I've only a few short days to live;
I've resigned my life to fate.

Well, I may never become a butterfly;
I don't pretend I can,
But at least I don't flutter away my time
Dreaming I'm a man.
©2005-2009 ~Error732
:iconerror732:

Author's Comments

Well, not a graceful title. Oh, well.

My thanks to ~MistressSnowSpider for the motif, it was fun to work with.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconcoolmodern:
Wow. I REALLY like this! Because it's simple yet laced with metaphors.. And you delivered such a punch in the last line! :) Reminds me of louis carroll's work, actually. :) Without the creepy Acrostic poems dedicated to little girls..
:iconerror732:
Thank you very much; I admit I haven't read very much of lewis carol, but I appreciate the comparison.
:iconmistresssnowspider:
Wow... I knew you'd produce something worth reading, and I'm awed by the results; definately worth waiting for.

I love the comparison to butterflies, seems so simple yet I never would have considered it myself. I think my favourite lines have to be:

"A lamp could distract me for hours.
Well, I'm awed by mundane miracles,
And I dream of mundane powers."

..they sum up the simplicity of the subject so well, yet, it also captures the intrigue of the creature.

Good choice of structure too; captures the element of flapping wings whilst the undefined syllable pattern captures the sporadic nature of the insect. :+fav:

--
--Mistress SnowSpider--
:iconerror732:
It was pretty funny, actually, because I read your suggestion about moths, commented on it before I had really thought about how plausible a motif it was, and then kept thinking to myself, "Moth, moth, moth, moth..." wherever I went. It was kind of infuriating until ideas started creeping through.

Thanks a million!
:iconcatch-a-falling-star:
im so definitely faving this!! this is beautiful, and its just true, and it sounds kinda like a simple arguement between a moth and a butterfly. it just gives me so many thoughts and feelings. Wonderful job.

--
[Animal Bar]
:icondutchshun:
Lightbulbs rock.
Love every single word.
Right down to my long lost sock!

--
wishing well
coins desire
dreams ripple
:iconerror732:
Thanks, for sure;
I cannot really say
How far down your sock goes,
But that's okay.
:iconerror732:
Thanks ^^

I'm just a man dreaming I'm a butterfly...
:iconneowhitewind:
Omg! This is excellent.

A strong emotion and feel to this piece.

I see no flaws in this. *faves*

Great piece!

--
Tell me...

What can the eyes see?

Now tell me, what do the eyes of thought see? Awaken them, open them, and see pass the veil that shrouds the mortal eye.
:iconcatch-a-falling-star:
tee hee. :giggle: i can picture that day dream. least i can imagine and day dream of you daydreaming that your a man dreaming you were a butterfly. wow. how confuzzling was that?

--
[Animal Bar]

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July 5, 2005
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