Tapeworm

Nobody ever mentions tapeworms when they think of creation.  Somehow, we didn't make it into Genesis.  I guess parasites didn't sound that epic to the ancient Jews.

We were there, though.  Well, one of us was.  Most everybody came in pairs back then, but being asexual beings, nobody really enforced the quota with us.  Its name was Bob, pioneer of our kind.  Like I said, not epic-sounding.

The anonymity doesn't even really bother me that much.  I mean, nobody ever makes an effort to harm tapeworms until they find out we exist.  It was the same back then; Adam hadn't the foggiest idea that Bob was sharing in on his meals, but hey--food was free, pain didn't exist, and
we all had to live somewhere.

No, what really bothers me is that we got kicked out of paradise for something we didn't even do.  Eve wants to eat an apple?  Fine, I'm down with that.  Eve wants to get herself and her beau booted from the garden?  Sure, go for it.  Just give a worm a little warning, first!  Bob could have made a run for the intestinal tract of the nearest chordate had he known it would have been an issue.

Now we've got to work for our real estate.  Since Methuselah died, homes depreciate faster than ever, and despite the abundant supply, the quality of living has really gone down since modern medicine got on the scene.

Oh, well.  I guess it doesn't help anyone to be bitter.  But let me tell you, if people don't eat curry in heaven, I'm not going.